My Journey to Self-Love

It is never easy to write about your own insecurities, and yet here I am, dedicating an entire blog to them. Maybe I’m crazy, or maybe, just maybe, this might be the best thing I’ve ever decided to do. Either way, here’s the deal. Whether a thousand people read these posts, or only one, my goal still remains the same. The purpose of this blog is for me to begin my journey towards a little concept known as “self-love”. 

For those of you who don’t know me that well, and even for many of you who do, I suffer a daily struggle with my own self worth. While I understand that many people often have days where they don’t feel great about themselves, for me it’s different. Pulling myself out of bed everyday is a struggle. Seeing myself in the mirror is torture. Going out in public alone is terrifying. The point is that on most days I literally hate myself. There, I said it. Everything becomes a struggle, and while I usually have a fake smile painted onto my face, it’s almost always in response to me trying to hide my own fears and anxieties, or even to simply keep myself from breaking down into a mess of tears. 

Now, before I get any negative comments, let me go ahead and say this: no, I have not been diagnosed with any type of mental illness, depression, or anxiety disorder. However, most likely the reason for this is because I’m too scared to go and get tested. That being said, I am not trying to self diagnose myself with any kind of condition. This blog is simply a way for me to come to terms with myself and hopefully bring me to a point where I can finally look at myself in a mirror and not absolutely despise what I see.  

If you have managed to read this far, congratulations. I know my writing style can be a bit “rambly”, so I am thankful to you for sticking through it to the end. Please understand that this blog is not going to be easy for me. I’m typically the type of person who listens to everyone else’s problems rather than ever talking about her own. It’s difficult for me to open up to others, but I believe that if I try to document my journey, while also trying to come to terms with who I am and what my purpose is, then maybe I will be able to inspire someone else who struggles from similar issues to my own. 

At the end of the day, I would like to hear that someone else found some sort of inspiration from this blog; however, my main goal is to simple: I want to love myself. That concept seems foreign to me, but hopefully by the end of this journey it will feel natural. Thank you for taking the time to read this little introduction to the future of my blog, and if you continue to follow me on this journey, I hope I can inspire you while also inspiring myself. 

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6 thoughts on “My Journey to Self-Love

  1. Loved your post! You may be surprised to know that a whole lot of people feel the same way you do….me included.

    We are faced with “perfection” everywhere, Facebook included. It’s expected that we are to be perfect all the time…even rolling out of bed with perfect hair in cute PJs and matching slippers. NOT! I will say it’s easier to ignore this expectation of perfection the older I get so hang in there!

    An intern at work asked me recently how I handle so much responsibility yet stay composed. My answer? I fake it. Yes, that’s right. I fake it. And in some strange way, I’m comfortable with that. Faking it and pretending that I know what I’m doing eventually gives me the confidence I need to do my job. Try it!

    Someone once told me that no one really cares about how I look, if my clothes don’t match,or if I have a stain on my pants because others are worried only about themselves and how they look. They are looking in the mirror to check on their looks, not mine. Hmmmm….I think that’s true!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your kind comment! It’s definitely not easy feeling good about ones self when the world around you tries to engrain the image of what perfection looks like into your head. It’s tough to look past those images and love yourself for the way that you are, but it’s a process and I am working towards it each and every day. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to look in the mirror and actually be proud of what I see!

      Like

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